i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
