Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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