it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
