would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
