maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
