I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
