it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
