i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
