WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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