He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
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