But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
