Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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