well you can't waste a boner
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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