we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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