im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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