quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
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i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
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And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?