They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.