No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
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There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
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That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night