well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
