your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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