just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
