New invention idea: vibrating tampons
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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