the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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