i think my tv is drunk
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
