This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
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"Yelling" is the main clue to your alone problem. NO ONE likes people who yell a lot.
I see multiple cats in your future...
Have you considered bathing regularly?
The dog wants you to know, he wants to go hang out somewhere else.
you from the McHenry area or Rockford area?