She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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