My friends, they love my intelligence
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
