then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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