Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
