just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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