So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Randomize
