The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
how drunk are you?
Several
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
