Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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