i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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