he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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