Just fell off a train. Bad.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
