I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You may now shotgun with the bride
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize