Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
