hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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