and my herpes radar will keep us safe
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
