dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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