idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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