i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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