I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize