Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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