After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
