How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
