you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
