if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
