we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
