just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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