I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
