I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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