Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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