On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
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uhh.. we work together.
DC and NOVA make me sad.
Ya sounds about right for the Obama Administration...
Why is everyone assuming it's a guy?!?!
what a liar. we all know what he's talking about. if he really got a job at the CIA he wouldnt have texted or poted that. and if he was stupid enough too, he's already fired.
Poor dog. You're a fucking asshole.
haha , way to go DC.. so heartless but fucking awesome.
hahaha i got wasted the night before my Securty clearance Polygraph and LIED hahaha i love DC
You have to tell your investigator that you sharted on the dog during your Periodic reinvestigation in 5 years. The question is, "have you ever done anything where someone might question your conduct or character?". Full disclosure. Think about that for the next 5 years. =) Don't worry we have heard of ppl fu*&ing their dogs too, so in the grand scheme of things, this isn't so bad.
omg this is the best one ever. soo great
havent laughed that hard in weeks.
bahahah only post on this site that ive ever actually laughed out loud. and wow shut up about obama. hes the man.
Was this person naked with the dog? How else could he shart actually on the dog?
So I tried reading this out loud to someone, and couldn't get past the first sentence. Proceeded to laugh for another 3 minutes before continuing. Finally got it on the third try.
Its not like working for the CIA is some huge secret, i mean you need a security clearance to get in the building (Think secretaries and even the janitor)... plus he didnt name the agency nor what he is doing with said agency... i fail to see how just saying that he works for a "secretive government agency" would be enough to get him fired
i know who sent this, thats sad. i love DC
The dog had final approval on your clearance.
that is the funniest shit i ve read on here all day. I m still laughing, holy shit
"one of the most respected govt agencies in the US"
if you just got cleared to be in one of the most secretive government agencies, isn't that something you probably shouldn't be texting people...?
Sounds about right.
Haha yep. W2G Obama.
The gov't sharts all the time, whats the big deal?
Yeah, I remember those days! They give those things to any retrobate. Trust me.
possibly the best post this site has ever seen
U guys need tk stop reading into these texts there just for emtertainment? God j guys need to get the poles outta ur asses
I'm moving to Canada.
No, Mexico. It's more fun there.
And the guys are hotter and way more fun to fuck.