you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
