Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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