She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Im part way to drunk.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
