nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
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Id open her wider. Up and up those buns, nice and moist.
What the hell? Toilet broke?
this is my TFLN. i can tell you that she was drunk. and my friend is a weirdo. only in the 7-3-true
Hahahahaha the first text made me laugh so much, the follow-up and reply, not so much
Okay, I rubbed one out, so I'll settle for second-base.
Lmfao yo I live in 732 I wanna party with you guys !!
Okay, I tried to bend them back into place, and they're almost right, but not quite.
5:14, I'd have sex with you if you're a dude or a chick
I'd love to hear the whole story on this one....
Steal second, big guy. Steal second.
Damn. I cut myself and when I went to go get a band-aid I stepped on my tweezers. Now, they're bent.
Great news, my bathroom toilet's carpeted cover is clean, my bedroom's, clean, and nobody will know who bent the tweezers. The only thing that would make this moment better would be a blumpkin.
Take her to the lap dance street
Apparently, it wasn't all out. I just had a reflex and puked a little on my floor while trying to find rug cleaner for the bathroom. Fuck me. To think, it all started because my sister wanted me to make her one of those bracelets out of the plastic lining of the inside of a coke cap. Of course, now she doesn't want it. So, who wants one of those bracelets made from the inside of a coke cap?
one day when i was little i ran into my sisters room when people were over and my mom was chaseing me cause i was takking a bath, i was naked, and i shit on her rug.
Alright, I found it. Hopefully, I won't drop it again.
Shit, steal third son
Damn. Just a few more years.
Sorry, i want your sister, not the bracelet.
Actually, no, 4:40 (2), I cleaned it up myself. I'm single, and not into dicks.
So, is anybody going to take that bracelet? I'd trade it for a blumpkin.
Because TFLN is going down the shitter.
Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. They slipped again and I accidentally swallowed it. There wasn't much left, but it burned going down. How long will it be until I test negative again?
We shit on the rugs in farmville but it's because we are all too preoccupied posting texts to go to the bathroom.
-farmer from farmville
Charles Ruthergord believes like a dog she's not house trained yet. you should rub her nose in it, that will stop her!
My sister's 10. You touch her, I snap your dick off.
Lol'd so hard at 10:16
How old is your sis?
Eat her shit
She will love u 4 ever
that rug really tied the room together.
Hell, if you're willing to let me, I'm all warmed up anyway. I'll go all the way. For the bracelet, of course.
C'mon, it's a great deal!
So I called in a husky cleaning man to get the puke out of my rug and we fucked for hours. His meaty man weasel pummeled my loose anus over and over. Hopefully my boyfriend doesn't notice the spooge all over my face.
SHIT! I knew I shouldn't have done it because they weren't quite right and all, but while I was smoking the last bit of my joint the tweezers slipped and now there's a lit joint under my desk and I can't find it.
Okay, I just threw up, so I don't think I absorbed whatever I swallowed. Bad thing is some of my puke missed the toilet, so now I gotta clean that up. And it hit that carpeted cover, why the fuck would you put carpet near a toilet, let alone on it?
I'll settle for just a blow-job, because I don't need to shit anymore.
HAHAH! I love central Jersey.
732 up in herrrrrre 8)
Tfln has turned into "text random shit to ppl who may post it"...... This fucking sucks
How?! What?! Why?! What?! AUUGGH!
I'd only have sex with you if you're a chick.
If you're a girl, then... Do you want a bracelet? I'll trade you for it.
Wow, the text died already?..
Shows she knows how to undress,
And, what makes you think I'm a guy?