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  • 54 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 12, 09 at 2:36pm

    Id open her wider. Up and up those buns, nice and moist. -John Hughcock

  • 50 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 5:04pm

    Okay, I rubbed one out, so I'll settle for second-base.

  • 53 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 11, 09 at 7:27pm

    this is my TFLN. i can tell you that she was drunk. and my friend is a weirdo. only in the 7-3-true

  • 51 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 10:57pm

    What the hell? Toilet broke?

  • 47 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 7:00pm

    Hahahahaha the first text made me laugh so much, the follow-up and reply, not so much

  • 51 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 5:15pm

    5:14, I'd have sex with you if you're a dude or a chick

  • 46 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:20pm

    Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. They slipped again and I accidentally swallowed it. There wasn't much left, but it burned going down. How long will it be until I test negative again?

  • 51 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:10pm

    Okay, I tried to bend them back into place, and they're almost right, but not quite.

  • 50 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:38pm

    Great news, my bathroom toilet's carpeted cover is clean, my bedroom's, clean, and nobody will know who bent the tweezers. The only thing that would make this moment better would be a blumpkin.

  • 53 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:17pm

    Alright, I found it. Hopefully, I won't drop it again.

  • 49 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:45pm

    My sister's 10. You touch her, I snap your dick off.

  • 43 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:30pm

    Apparently, it wasn't all out. I just had a reflex and puked a little on my floor while trying to find rug cleaner for the bathroom. Fuck me. To think, it all started because my sister wanted me to make her one of those bracelets out of the plastic lining of the inside of a coke cap. Of course, now she doesn't want it. So, who wants one of those bracelets made from the inside of a coke cap?

  • 38 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 12, 09 at 9:16pm

    one day when i was little i ran into my sisters room when people were over and my mom was chaseing me cause i was takking a bath, i was naked, and i shit on her rug.

  • 48 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:05pm

    Damn. I cut myself and when I went to go get a band-aid I stepped on my tweezers. Now, they're bent.

  • 46 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 11:20pm

    Lmfao yo I live in 732 I wanna party with you guys !!

  • 46 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:46pm

    Damn. Just a few more years.

  • 41 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 10, 10 at 12:53am

    Lol'd so hard at 10:16

  • 47 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 5:10pm

    Steal second, big guy. Steal second.

  • 48 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:57pm

    Charles Ruthergord believes like a dog she's not house trained yet. you should rub her nose in it, that will stop her!

  • 46 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:03pm

    Because TFLN is going down the shitter.

  • 46 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 11, 09 at 10:40pm

    732 up in herrrrrre 8)

  • 42 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:40pm

    So I called in a husky cleaning man to get the puke out of my rug and we fucked for hours. His meaty man weasel pummeled my loose anus over and over. Hopefully my boyfriend doesn't notice the spooge all over my face.

  • 44 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 5:10pm

    Shit, steal third son

  • 39 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:53pm

    I'll settle for just a blow-job, because I don't need to shit anymore.

  • 46 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:44pm

    Actually, no, 4:40 (2), I cleaned it up myself. I'm single, and not into dicks. So, is anybody going to take that bracelet? I'd trade it for a blumpkin.

  • 43 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:15pm

    SHIT! I knew I shouldn't have done it because they weren't quite right and all, but while I was smoking the last bit of my joint the tweezers slipped and now there's a lit joint under my desk and I can't find it.

  • 39 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 11, 09 at 3:34am

    Tfln has turned into "text random shit to ppl who may post it"...... This fucking sucks

  • 41 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 6:52pm

    How?! What?! Why?! What?! AUUGGH!

  • 42 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 5:39pm

    Take her to the lap dance street

  • 39 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 10, 10 at 12:53am

    9:16

  • 39 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 6:00pm

    that rug really tied the room together.

  • 37 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 5:14pm

    Hell, if you're willing to let me, I'm all warmed up anyway. I'll go all the way. For the bracelet, of course. C'mon, it's a great deal!

  • 39 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 11, 09 at 12:43am

    Eat her shit She will love u 4 ever

  • 42 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:25pm

    Okay, I just threw up, so I don't think I absorbed whatever I swallowed. Bad thing is some of my puke missed the toilet, so now I gotta clean that up. And it hit that carpeted cover, why the fuck would you put carpet near a toilet, let alone on it?

  • 48 85
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 6:55pm

    Sorry, i want your sister, not the bracelet.

  • 38 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:40pm

    How old is your sis?

  • 44 78
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 11, 09 at 9:14am

    I'd love to hear the whole story on this one....

  • 43 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 5:11pm

    HAHAH! I love central Jersey.

  • 41 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:14pm

    Shows she knows how to undress,

  • 35 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 10:14pm

    We shit on the rugs in farmville but it's because we are all too preoccupied posting texts to go to the bathroom. -farmer from farmville

  • 45 85
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 5:28pm

    I'd only have sex with you if you're a chick.

  • 40 88
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 9:28pm

    Wow, the text died already?..

  • 33 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:47pm

    And, what makes you think I'm a guy?

  • 34 78
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:48pm

    If you're a girl, then... Do you want a bracelet? I'll trade you for it.