Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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