you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
