its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
