I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
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I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
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Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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