no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
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your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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