you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
