actually, I'm a sock model
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
