Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
