just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
