he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
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The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
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She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I deserve this hangover.
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