...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
