i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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